Just need someone to understand

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   Hi Guys, I just wanted to talk to people who understand. Im not looking for solutions. I just want support. 

I have NEVER been called lazy because of my JRA. I guess ive been lucky. I have always just grinned and beared it not matter what. I never tell people im in pain, they dont realize that I am always having some level of pain. If I dont say i hurt than I dont right? If i smile then i feel fine!  Today however I was called lazy. Because I spoke up. There was no way I could ran around as much as it needed for my job. So I asked if I could be the 1 to 1 sitter. My charge nurse and supervisor had no problem with that and changed the assignment. But my coworkers were pissed(lots of people claim to be sick so they can just sit)she called me lazy in front of me and my boss and then said that im always lazy. WHAT???? she never does any work. I have to pick up her slack. I never sit down. She hangs out in the break room. I had the day shift staff. Nights are better. I love my job but I will be glad to leave in april 

My joints are just so bad. I guess I should be thankfull that they are not ussually like this. I am always in some level of pain but not like this, im not in remission, i just have ok periods and worse periods. Its so bad that I actually called my doctor asking for prednisone. I got actemra yesterday hopefully that will kick in soon as well. 

The one good thing is that my joints are visibly swollen. (thats not good) BUT its nice to have some physical sighns to validate my symptoms. I have had so many rheumatologists get frustrated with me and after trying meds and non working, they tell me im making it up. Because my blood work is always normal and they can hardly ever see inflamation. 

This doctor is amazing. She is able to feel inflamation that I bet was there with myother doctors as well but they just overlooked. I got denied for Actemra initially because my blood work does not reflect my diagnosis, so she had me get an MRI which showed inflamation  she used that as proof. She believes me. And she is so good. I love her. 

Anyway I guess I just wanted a little sympathy. Im tired of all this o your fine just deal with it crap. 

Thanks for listening to my whining. I hope you guys are feeling ok!! 