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Depression
Ron & Depression
Ron
& Depression
Rons
Ramblins
(ron@arthritisinsight.com)
Today's
Ramblins are not quite as light as some of the ones that have preceded
it. It is a very difficult column for me to write.
Today I want to talk a little bit about a silent and little talked of
result of Arthritis or other chronic pain causing diseases: DEPRESSION.
It is a dangerous thing. I know. I just spent 4 days in the hospital
being treated for it. It is a sneaky rascal that silently stalks you.
You think you have everything under control, yet day after day of living
with the pain associated with arthritis, and the stigma attached to it,
dealing with it and trying to work with either the pain or under
the influence of pain medications. Add to that the lack of understanding
that many people have about the disease (how many times have you heard;
Arthritis, oh yeah I have some of that too, just take a couple aspirin
and it will go away) and the impact of the medications that many of us
take and you have just lit the fuse for a major explosion.
The depression is something that you may not even recognize that you
have, or you may not know how serious it is. Please take the warning
signs of depression seriously, changes in sleeping patterns, withdrawal
from friends, feeling sad, changes in eating habits, can all be symptoms
of a very dangerous disease.
The good news is that depression is treatable. Generally it is brought
about by a chemical imbalance in the brain that can be brought on by
stress, chronic pain and many other things. My plea to you is that if
you feel that you have any of the symptoms or think that you might be
depressed seek professional help.
I said in the beginning of the article that this was a hard article for
me to write. The reason that it is so hard to write is because I ignored
many of the signs of depression. During the 4 days that I was in the
hospital, I was under a suicide watch. I am not proud of this fact and
am sure that there will be some stigma attached to my admission that I
came very close to taking my own life. I now am very thankful that my
wife Linda was very observant and took the pills away from me and that
she was strong enough to call and get me the help I needed. All it took
was a minor change in my medications to make me feel much better about
myself and about the world around me.
I hope that each and every one of you who suffers from chronic pain or
who feels blue about your condition or circumstances will take stock of
where you are and if you feel that things are the least bit out of
control, please find someone to talk to. Please get help. Please do not
let it go as far as I did.
There is usually someone around the site that is willing to listen and
who cares about you. If you can't find anyone here, call a friend. I
assure you that no friend will mind being awakened in the middle of the
night to talk about real problems like depression. Finally, and most of
all, if you even think that you suffer from depression, get professional
help.
I hope that each of you will take my admissions and concerns to heart.
Had Linda not been paying attention, I would have hurt the ones I love
most and would not be here to share this with you today.
Please learn and heed the signs of depression. I will always make myself
available to listen and share my experiences.
((((((((((((((((((Hugs to all)))))))))))))))))))))
The article above was
published in the AI newsletter on May 10<sup>th.
I received tremendous support from many of my friends here on the
site. I learned a lot. It
was amazing to me to find out that there were so many people in the same
boat people who at some time in their lives have had such a disregard
for life that they tried to escape from this world.
That is not the answer, that is the easy way out, the cowards
way out. I have been in
counseling both with a therapist and with a psychiatrist since the day I
tried to end my life. I
have gotten much better, that does not mean that I am well, a long way
from it. However, my
outlook is pointed a positive direction and I can now rationally accept
some things that were denied before. What is, is.
If I cant change it, then I should not worry about it. My
medications have been adjusted several times since my incident and
I generally remain calm and focused on what I can do to make me OK.
That is not always an
easy taskI am pretty darned hard headed some times (ask KJ).
While things are for
the moment under control and I am able to function in the real world,
the stresses of work, the ending of an 18 year marriage and the
financial responsibilities that go with that, the isolation one feels
because it appears that you have lost your friends because of the
divorce, the responsibilities of caring for 3 young children could
either singly or congregated become a trigger if I let them. But I wont let them.
I can do nothing to change these things, so I must accept them
and go on with my life. I
will not tell you that it is easy or that I dont have really bad days
(crying in the therapists office) but I have learned one thing.
I always carry my counselors phone number and pager number
with me. I will not
hesitate to use it if things get bad.
I all so carry the number of several crisis hotlines.
I have to acknowledge that I am still vulnerable and am learning
to take care of me.
I know much of the
above sounds selfish and like part of the me generation
philosophy, but if you think about it no one can take care of the inner
you better than you. The
things that I wrote in the article still remain true. If you suspect
that you have depression tell someone, your RD, PCP, or whoever can get
you some help. All life is
too precious to waste. You
are important. If you doubt
that, just go to the message boards and read through our members helping
each other or to the chat room and talk with others who have been or are
in the same spot. You are
an important resource for the newly diagnosed person.
You are a shoulder for the person in pain, and you are an ear for
someone who needs to talk through things.
Never underestimate the importance and power of YOU.
Dont ever let anyone tell you that you are unimportant or that
you cannot make a difference.
I am one of the lucky
ones; I am still here to tell you that I understand what it is like
because I have traveled that road before.
I really feel lucky and privileged to be here to write this.
The Psychiatrist who heads the unit where I spent my little
vacation made one statement that I will never forget.
She said, Men generally do not attempt suicide, they usually
commit suicide. I keep
that thought close. Next
time I might succeed so I want there to be no next time.
I say this because chronic pain of any kind can be debilitating
to your psychological being as well as your physical being.
Please if you begin
to see any of the warning signs, get help, talk to someonethere is
usually here. Find a
therapist a psychiatrist of even a suicide prevention hotline.
Depression at almost
any stage can be treated through medications and counseling.
Yeah there is a stigma to admitting that I needed to use a
psychiatrist or even that I am seeing a counselor, but they have turned
my life back in the tight direction.
For that I want to thank them.
They have found the right medication that helps keep me out of
the up and down cycles of depression.
They have taught me to have an anchor within me that I can hold
on to. They have taught me
how to deal with my anger. They
have taught me how to relax.
I still have a long
way to go but with your help, and their help, I will be here and happy
for a long time to come.
As you finish reading
this, there are several things to keep in mind:
-
Know the warning signs of depression;
-
Know that whether you
believe it or not, someone cares very much about you;
-
Dont give up.
If you give up, then the depression and pain win;
-
Believe in yourself.
You are important to a lot of people;
-
Most importantly, if you
even think you might be depressed GET SOME HELP FROM A PROFESSIONAL.
If you want
additional information about depression and how sneaky it can be in
getting you in its clutches and the warning signs of the disease, please
read all of the information presented in this discussion.
Thank you all for
being here. ((((Big Group Hug)))
~IndyRon
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